Why do people sabotage their own success?
Have you ever noticed how, just when things are going really well, something seems to go wrong? You land that big promotion, only to fall ill shortly after. You start a wonderful new relationship, but old fears and insecurities suddenly resurface. You achieve a significant financial windfall, and then unexpected expenses arise, eating away at your newfound wealth. This frustrating phenomenon is known as the Upper Limit Problem, a term coined by Gay Hendricks in his transformative book, The Big Leap.
What is the Upper Limit Problem?
The Upper Limit Problem (ULP) is a psychological phenomenon where individuals unconsciously self-sabotage when they surpass a certain threshold of happiness, success, or love. It’s as if our subconscious has a thermostat setting for how much happiness or success we believe we deserve, and when we exceed that setting, it triggers behaviours to bring us back down to what feels comfortable and familiar.
Hendricks explains that this self-sabotage stems from deep-seated fears and limiting beliefs, often formed in childhood. These can include fears of outshining others, feeling fundamentally flawed, or doubting one's worthiness of success. The Upper Limit Problem manifests in various forms such as procrastination, illness, arguments, or accidents, effectively pulling us back to our ‘safe’ zone of mediocrity.
Why Do We Self-Sabotage?
Fear of failure: Success brings higher expectations and greater responsibility. The fear of failing to meet these new expectations can cause us to sabotage our progress to avoid potential disappointment.
Fear of success: Paradoxically, the prospect of success can be just as intimidating as the fear of failure. Achieving our goals can disrupt our identity and force us to confront changes we’re not prepared for.
Limiting beliefs: Deeply ingrained beliefs about our worthiness can lead us to feel undeserving of success. These beliefs often stem from childhood experiences and societal conditioning.
Comfort zone: Human beings are creatures of habit, and stepping outside our comfort zone can trigger anxiety. The Upper Limit Problem acts as a mechanism to keep us within familiar territory, even if it means sacrificing growth and happiness.
Recognising the Signs
Awareness is the first step in overcoming the Upper Limit Problem. Common signs include:
Procrastination: Delaying important tasks despite knowing they will lead to success.
Conflict: Instigating or getting involved in unnecessary conflicts, especially during times of growth.
Health issues: Sudden illnesses or injuries that conveniently prevent you from moving forward.
Financial setbacks: Unexpected expenses or poor financial decisions that erode your wealth.
Overcoming the Upper Limit Problem with EFT
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as tapping, is a powerful tool for breaking through self-imposed barriers. As a Clinical EFT Practitioner, I’ve guided countless clients in overcoming ULP by addressing their emotional blocks and subconscious beliefs.
Steps to Use EFT for ULP:
Identify the limiting belief: Explore past experiences to uncover deep-seated fears or emotional blocks triggering self-sabotage.
Setup statement: Create a statement that acknowledges the problem while expressing self-acceptance. For example, "Even though I feel unworthy of this success, I deeply and completely accept myself."
Tapping sequence: Tap on specific meridian points while repeating affirmations to release emotional distress and rewire your subconscious mind.
Reassess: After several rounds, notice the shift in emotional intensity and perspective.
Benefits of EFT in Addressing ULP
Releases emotional blocks: EFT clears the underlying emotional blocks that prevent you from fully embracing success and happiness.
Builds self-acceptance: Tapping fosters a sense of self-worth, empowering you to feel deserving of your achievements.
Enhances resilience: Regular EFT practice boosts emotional resilience, reducing the likelihood of future self-sabotage.
Further Reading
For a deeper understanding of the Upper Limit Problem and strategies to overcome it, I highly recommend:
The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
Break Through Your Upper Limits with EFT
The Upper Limit Problem is a common yet often overlooked barrier to sustained success and happiness. As a certified Clinical EFT Practitioner, I can help you uncover and release the subconscious blocks holding you back. Through energy psychology techniques like EFT, you can raise your internal thermostat, overcome self-sabotage, and step into your true potential.
If you’re ready to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage, let’s work together to create lasting change. Your journey to sustained happiness and success may be just a few taps away.